All I want for Christmas...

Well, Christmas has come and gone in a blur of shopping, cooking, eating and opening presents.  My older boys are home for the holiday and I have to say that it has been wonderful.  I am very thankful for my beautiful family and thankful that we were able to share a great Christmas.  I have very few pictures of all of us together so I had my niece take a couple of us tonight.  So, here is my family...Christmas 2011.

We were missing one very special little girl this year.  I have been a little down in the dumps that Elise was not here with her new family for Christmas.   But things are progressing and we will be getting all of our dossier off to our agency on Wednesday if everything goes as planned.  It is a great feeling though to know that this is the last Christmas we will spend without Elise.

This morning I woke up to an email from Bethel, the school where Elise is living.  We had sent her a present and they sent us five very precious, very beautiful pictures of an incredible and beautiful Elise.  I am so in love with this little girl...it really does amaze me how I can be so attached to her and I haven't even met her.

Devin loves the jacket she is wearing.  I will be on a mission to find this jacket!!

She really knows how to tear into presents!  She is going to have so much fun here next Christmas.

I was told by one of her teachers that she loves to look pretty and loves her hair in pretty bows.  She looks like she is telling the office manager at the school "hurry up and do my hair, I need to look pretty"!!

Here Elise is with the new hair bows in her hair....well, not really bows, but rather these beads that hang...they look real cute on her though.  You can see the pajamas we sent to her on the right and the backpack on the left.  I don't see the toy we sent.  But I notice that she has discarded everything for the hair bows.

It looks like she is not all that happy that she had to put the backpack on.  And look at the grip she has on her new hairbows!!  She is not going to let those go for anything.

I am so thankful for the wonderful school that is taking care of Elise.  They have made it much easier for us to get through this long wait.  And I know that next year when she is with us our Christmas will be even more special....

Tears of Joy

I am crying tears of joy.  And shaking like a leaf.  I just found out that we received our immigration approval yesterday on day 67.  The very nice lady on the phone said that a favorable determination was placed in the mail yesterday so I hope, hope, hope to have it in my hands tomorrow.  If I get it in my hands tomorrow, I will be driving to Tallahassee first thing Friday morning so that I am there when they open the Secretary of State doors at 9:00.  It then goes to a courier in Washington DC who will walk it to the Department of State and the Chinese Embassy.  With rush service and overnight mailing we might actually have our dossier ready to go to our agency before Christmas.  What a gift that will be.

Still....waiting....

The baby blues are setting in.  Our application has been sitting at the USCIS for 66 days today.  I decided to take a chance and gave them a call.  Nothing yet.  She did tell me that they were doing a big push on I800A applications for the next two weeks trying to get things moving and they are starting October applications today.  Well, our receipt date is October 7^th  so we ARE getting closer .  She did say to call back on Friday….we will be at 70 days.  I know it will all happen eventually….I was just hoping….that we would have our dossier to China by the end of this year….

 

I guess I need to get used to waiting.  There will be a lot of it over the next several months.

She is worth the wait

I received an email from Bethel this morning with four new pictures of Elise. She is just so beautiful. It was such a great way to start the day. It is that face that makes this wait bearable because no matter how long it takes in the end she will be our daughter...forever. I love that they sent us pictures of her doing her normal tasks as we get to really see into her personality. My mom noticed that she might be a lefty, the same as her daddy. It is a little odd though because her dominant eye is her right eye and it usually follows hand dominance, though I guess not always. Funny we didn't notice that...but I did notice her dimples. I am so in love with this little angel.

Day 54 and waiting

Well, the short story here is that I really have nothing to update.  Our paperwork is still sitting at US immigration waiting to be approved.  We are on day 54 of our wait.  The first half of this wait went very fast as we were waiting for fingerprinting.  But once we did our fingerprints done on November 3^rd it feels like it has stalled.  The really hard thing is that when we started doing our paperwork people were getting approvals at about 55 days…Now that wait has increased to 75 days or more.  So we still have at least three more weeks to wait and that is assuming our homestudy was done perfectly.  If there is any question at all, they send out a letter for more clarification and that just delays the approval even more.  Plus we have to contend with the holidays.  I don’t know about the USCIS but in my office everybody slows down during the holidays.   I had hoped to have our paperwork going to China by the end of December, but it looks like it will probably be the beginning of January.  Even more frustrating is that once our paperwork gets logged into China we have to wait for them to translate, process and approve our formal request to adopt.  They will be getting our paperwork right before Chinese New Year where the entire country shuts down for at least a week.  I can’t even begin to estimate how long this next process will take.  I had hoped that April was going to be promising, but it looks like it will be May or later.  I just want to go get Elise.  I know she is happy, and I know she is in a wonderful school and foster home, but she needs a family NOW.  There is no substitute for a loving family, as dysfunctional as we are we will still love her beyond words.

 

We are sending Elise a small present for Christmas…a little backpack, some warm pajamas, lots of hair things and a noisy cell phone toy.  Plus we bought some good chocolates to send for the staff and teachers.  It is very difficult to only buy what will fit into a box the size of a shoebox.  I want to get her everything, but in due time that will happen.   I wish we could be with Elise for Christmas, but I take comfort in knowing that this will be her last Christmas away from her family.

 

I guess I do have a small update.  I received an email from Elise’s wonderful preschool teacher.  I believe that she is her English teacher.  She says that Elise has finally realized that she is not the center of attention and that she has to let the other kids have time with the teachers as  well.  She is doing very well with her English and uses some words outside of class which is great.  Her teacher is French so I wonder if Elise will have a French accent : )  Elise loves to have her hair in scrunchies and loves to show them off and look pretty.  Truthfully that kind of scares me.  I was never a girly girl so I hope that I don’t take that away from her.

 

We had a very nice Thanksgiving with my parents, brothers and sisters.  I missed my two older boys but will get to see them very soon for Christmas.  I had five days off of work in a row and it was glorious…I did nothing!!  Well, we did get our Christmas tree and it looks very nice. 

 

Hopefully next time I post it will be with our approval and I hope it is sooner rather than later.  One can always dream, right?

 

 

Happy Birthday Elise!!

Our little Elise will be turning two this weekend so we sent her a care package through http://www.ladybugsnlove.com/ which included an outfit, a doll and a cake.  Angela quickly sent me a picture of the outfit and the doll she purchased for us. 

We also ordered a cake for her and her foster family to celebrate.  The nice thing is that they are required to send pictures to prove that they actually got a cake.  This morning I was welcomed to work with an email from Angela sending us 10 pictures of Elise.  I can’t even explain how it felt to see this little girl and know that she is ours…but then to realize that it will still be a long time before we get to hold her is heartbreaking. 

 

Elise looks so well taken care of and has some seriously cute chubby cheeks when she smiles.  Oh and did you see her piggies?!?!  I NEED to go get some hairbows.

 Look at that cake!!!  It is huge.  While it looks spectacular, I wonder how it tastes.

She is trying to do the peace sign.  From what I could find on the web, it is a sign for victory or success.

It is really funny to see pictures of the kids in China.  They are always so bundled up, wearing layer upon layer of clothing.  That is probably the only reason this outfit even remotely fit.  I worried about what size she is so I chose something for a “typical two year old” size.  It looks a little big which tells me that I can probably be safe buying her size 2T for when she comes home.  I have hesitated to purchase anything because I was just so unsure.  All I can say is Devin needs to watch out now, the little dresses will be taking over. 

I am so thankful that she is going to be a part of our family.  People have commented on what a great thing we are doing, what saints we are, etc.  I don’t see it that way at all.  I admit it, I am completely selfish…I needed her to be my daughter.  She is helping me, not the other way around.  She is completing our family. 

I have only one concern.  Just look at her face…how is Devin ever going to say no to anything she asks for?

Be still my heart...nuff said

Can't get enough...

I have a few updates to post on our adoption process. 

First, we have changed her name!!  When we found out that she was in a nice school and they were calling her by an English name I contacted the school.  The teacher said that she will wait to hear from us and start using our name so that our daughter (I love saying that) will be used to hearing it when she comes home (I love saying that too).  I panicked and second guessed the name we had chosen.  The more I read about other BTDT parents and the more I thought about it I felt she should be given an English name first and then and Chinese name for a middle name.  So I researched, I cried, I prayed, and I drove everybody crazy.  I think Devin was very close to strangling me or divorcing me or both.  I made a list...too many common names...crossed them all off.  Started over.  New list.  There was really only one name that stayed constant to me through the entire process so I thought why can't that be her first name.  Ok, first name check.  Again, for the middle name, lists, crossing off, starting over.  So then I had a moment of brilliance.  (those moments don't come too often anymore so I have to grab them while I can).  SWITCH her name around.  Ahaa.  Now we have a name...Elise Meilin.  The school has her name and were supposed to start calling her by it so I won't be changing it.  Wellll, I won't be changing her first name, the middle name is still up for debate.  There is still the chance that we might use her given Chinese name as a middle name. 

Second update.  We are 19 days into our USCIS approval wait.  The average wait time has been about 60 days.  Plus we got our appointment for our fingerprints to be taken on 11/3.  That seems so fast.  I am just thrilled that all is moving along.  But each new step creates more panic that something will go wrong.

Lastly, I sent most of our documents to a courier in Washington DC to be authenticated by the Chinese embassy.  Those are being delivered back to me this afternoon.  Only one more document to go.  Then it all goes to China...then we get to wait again.

When I contacted the teacher at Elise's school and foster home she sent me back more pictures.  I can't believe how big she is, how beautiful she is and how many teeth she has!! I am sad because we are missing these moments, but I am happy that we are at least getting these little glimpses into her life and personality.  It think that she and Wyatt are going to have a lot of fun together.  And the teacher told me that she doesn't really like English class, that she won't participate, but then when they are out of class she will start to mimic them.  She sounds like a stubborn little girl and will fit right into this family.

And because he is the cutest little guy I know, here is Wyatt:



Can it get any better?

So, as a sponsor of our daughter we received this newsletter.  Finally a smile!!! (Click on the link)

https://docs.google.com/viewer?a=v&pid=explorer&chrome=true&srcid=11It2BIjw5_jp_bo9Bsv7koyVlZ8i43pPIV-vTrvpvryWz3rDp-jYs7y4xBgu&hl=en_US 

Her English name is Sophie.  Hmmmm.

Plus, after telling them that we are adopting this beauty, they sent us some more pictures and have agreed to get some more recent ones for us.

Jackpot!!

Friday was a great day.  I can't even describe how it felt.  Yes, there were tears...of joy, of course.  Once again, I read online about other parents finding pictures of their soon to be children on the web.  For those who know me well, you know that I love to research on the internet and I am slightly obsessive.  I wasn't going to stop until I found something.  At lunch at work, I typed in our little one's chinese name in google images and there she was.  Ok, so that was wonderful, but the best news is where our daughter is living.  She is living at the Bethel China Foundation which is a school and foster home for orphans with visual impairments.  It is located outside of Beijing and it is incredible.  It was created by a young French couple in 2003 and well, I can't say enough good things about it.  It is kind of funny though...her last "update" said she was comfortable around animals such as sheep and chickens.  Now I see why.  The school also has a farm, with sheep, hens, gardens...they grow corn, walnuts, have honey bees.  There are 7 foster homes on the 17 acres, a pool and great playground.  The school is, well, incredible.  The children look happy and well loved.  We have decided to sponsor our little girl and we have contacted the founder (he actually emailed me back this morning...or rather tonight in China time).  Please take a look at the school at http://www.bethelchina.org/.  Also, they have a video at http://www.bethelchina.org/NewsAndActivity/Video.aspx.  Our MeiLin is on the video dated 4/29/2011 at times 2:34, 2:44, 3:03 and 3:47 (she looks like a good eater!)  We feel very blessed that our daughter is here.  And it makes the wait a little more bearable.  Well, not really : )

Anyway, here are some of the beautiful pictures we found on their newsletters.  It is funny to see how often she sucks on her lower lip.  We are so in love.



Homestudy received - I800A

After a little bit of a mistake in the paperwork, we have received our completed homestudy.  That means we are one step closer to MeiLin.  Our immigration application, with homestudy, is in the UPS package ready to be sent out tomorrow.  This process will take close to 60 days, though it looks like averages are going down a bit.  If we don't have any problems with immigration we might see our approval in as little as 50 days.  About midway we will have to go have our fingerprints taken.

Devin and I have been watching several movies and documentaries about China.  The country is so beautiful and the culture is so interesting.  PBS had a great documentary called The Last Train Ride Home....it was about migrant factory workers and their travels back home for the new year.  I can't believe how many people were stuck at the train station.  Anyway, if you get a chance to watch this one it is definitely worth the time.

So....back to waiting....

Homestudy complete...almost

Last weekend we had our last two visits with our social worker.  We had to have four face to face meetings with her as part of the process.  And for me, each of those meetings sucked.  I have never felt so inadequate confident as a parent and person.  Our social worker shared valuable information with us scared the crap out of us, some food for thought as we move through the process of bringing our daughter home.  The whole process was exhausting and the amount of paperwork we had to gather and complete is not for the faint of heart.  But we had to keep our focus on MeiLin and getting her home as quickly as possible.  So now we wait for our social worker to write up the homestudy and get it approved.  After that she will give us four notarized copies that we will need for the remainder of the process.  Yup, we are not done yet, not even close.  So for those of you who are new to this process, here is a quick rundown of the steps remaining.

1.  Apply for USCIS approval which is the US approval for us to adopt and bring a child into the country.  Approval takes about 60 days and includes fingerprints done at about 30 days in.

2.  Gather our dossier.  What is a dossier? The official definition is "a collection of papers containing detailed information about a particular person or subject (usually a person's record). Basically we are required to collect a series of documents that tells the Chinese government about us, our family, our health, our finances.  We have nearly gathered everything in this process except the USCIS approval and our homestudy.  Nearly everything needs to be notarized.

3.  Get our dossier certified at the state level.  This involves the state certifying that the notary who notarized our documents is in fact a notary within the state.  This takes about 5 days.

4.  Get our dossier certified by the US at the department of state AND

5.  Get our dossier authenticated by the Chinese Consulate.  The state's stamp of approval isn't enough to validate the document in a foreign country. So, then we have to send our state certified documents to the Chinese consulate here in America so that the Chinese consulate can verify the validity of our state's stamp! Crazy, right?   Steps 4 and 5 will happen at the same time as we will send our dossier to a courier in Washington DC who will walk our documents into the Department of State to get them certified, go back and pick them up, then walk them to the Chinese Consulate for authentication and go back and pick them up.  This probably takes up to five days.

6.  Dossier to China.  After all the certifications and authentications our dossier goes to our agency who then sends it to China.

7.  LID - log in date.  This is the date our paperwork is logged into the system in China.

8.  LOA - letter of acceptance.  This is the offical approval for us to complete our adoption from China.  We have received preliminary approval, but now they confirm everything we originally submitted and give us "real" approval.  The wait for LOA can be as little as 30 days to more than 100 days.

9.  See #1 above.  Now we have to apply with USCIS to bring our specific child into the country.  Takes about 2-3 weeks.

10.  NVC cable or national visa center cable is issued when the NVC uploads the approval.  2 weeks.

11.  Receive article 5 which is the consulate pre-approving your child for an immigrant visa. 2-3 weeks.

12.  TA - travel approval takes about 2-4 weeks.  Then we can make travel arrangements for within the next month.

Phew, that was exhausting just writing it out.  I will probably revise this list somewhat, but I wanted to get a quick snapshot of the process on the blog so people can see what is still ahead of us.  If you see my eye twitching...you know why.

Finding Ad

When a child is abandoned in China, a finding ad is placed in the newspaper in hopes that the birth parent will come forward and claim the baby.  I don't have actual statistics on this, but I imagine it doesn't happen often if at all.  A picture of the child along with a description is put in the paper and is typically the first pictures that are ever taken of that child.  While reading a post on an adoption forum website I realized that it might be possible to find our daughter's ad.  So I searched tonight....and found it...in five minutes.  I can't believe it.  I have a picture of MeiLin that was taken within six days of her birth and to me it is absolutely priceless.  Here is her ad:

Here is the picture and translation.

Yu Meng Niu (Xining City Children's Welfare Institute named, formerly unknown), female, November 19, 2009 born (estimated), November 25, 2009 in Xining City, east of abandoned under the South Gate area Pengcheng Guest House 201 Street No. 48 room.

I am so happy to have found this, but so sad that she was left somewhere alone and cold.  How long until she was found?  I am just speechless.  But I also must say, she is beautiful and she is our daughter and she will never feel alone again.

What's in a name?

Picking a name for our daughter has been harder than I thought it would be.  We have a face; now we need a name.  What does she look like?  Will the name fit her when she is older?  What does she want her name to be?  I had a name all picked out, but the more I said it the more it just didn’t fit.  I am saying “I” because Devin has graciously allowed me to come up with some suggestions and he would either say yes or no.  Alex’s requirement was that the name be unique.  The name I started with was not unique.  Then there is the whole culture thing.  Names in China have meaning; they aren’t just names to call someone.  But the naming process for children in orphanages is different.  We struggled with keeping part of her name so that she still had some of her Chinese identity, but in the end didn’t feel that the name was carefully chosen and given by a loving family.  As her new loving family we have chosen a new name for our daughter.  We did stay with a Chinese first name, but is not so unusual to her new American life.  As far as her second name, it hit me today…it is from one of my favorite songs Fur Elise. 

The name we have chosen is:  MeiLin Elise *****

YEAH we have PA

The Chinese government has given their approval for Devin and I to adopt a beautiful little girl.  We are so blessed.  Now the real paperchasing begins.  But let me say thank you to our friends and family who have agreed to complete references for us.  It really means a lot to us.

But now that we have PA we can share our daughter with everyone.  Scroll down and take a look at her beautiful face.  I am sure that we will soon get to see a big smile light up her face!!

WE HAVE AN UPDATE!!!

A wonderful mom named Kenlyn advocates for these kids.  She was able to get an update on our little girl.  When we made the decision to adopt her we had very little developmental history and a scary medical report to go by.  But we knew in our hearts and our gut that she was perfect...no matter what.  But seeing how well she is doing makes us a little relieved and makes this momma anxious to go get her little girl!

SN: subarachnoid hemorrhage(SAH), congenital microphthalmia(CMIC) of left eye

 

Date of This Report: 8/10/2011

A.   Health condition:

-        no sign of dyspnea or cyanosis after strenuous exercise

-        no vomiting, cold complexion or cold sweat when overexerting or excited

-        hasn't found to have epilepsy or disorder of consciousness so far

-        normal vision in the right eye

-        not found to be used to rubbing eyes

-        the special needs do not affect her daily life

-        not found to be allergic to anything so far

B.    Development:

-        uses diapers at night while he goes to the potty with reminding at day time

-        can crawl, stand, walk, run, walk up and down stairs by self

-        can turn the knob of the door

-        can point at things wanted

-        can take things out of the container as well as put them back in

-        can hold the bottle of the cup by both hands

-        not able to use the spoon yet

-        can cooperate when dressed up or taken clothes off

-        can take off socks by self

-        can speak words of one syllable such as "mom", "eat" and "drink"

-        uses the cup for milk and water

C.    Likes and dislikes:

-        gets well along with other children

-        enjoys playing with other children

-        will try to grab toys back if grabbed by others

-        sometimes grabs other children's toys when playing together

-        comparatively is most attached to the foster mom

-        likes playing at seesaw

-        has seen doggies, lambs and chicken before so not afraid of animals

-        ignore people when upset while usually foster mom will hold her and kiss her in order to comfort her

-        pet name is Meng Meng

-        not picky about food

D.   Overall development:

-        she has normal development both physically and mentally compared to other children of same age

Introducing...

Ok, so we don't have a name picked out yet...but here is our daughter!!  Isn't she gorgeous!


Look at those pouty lips!!



A smile to melt your heart

What a princess!





LOI submitted today

Our LOI is being submitted to China today.  The LOI is the letter of intent or our rehab plan.  Basically we had to state that we will provide this child with needed medical care, say that we will never abandon or abuse her, and say that we will love her and provide for her every need.  After seeing her pictures how is there any doubt??  Now we wait for PA or Pre Approval.  This means that we have been preliminarily approved to adopt this little girl as long as our final paperwork doesn’t change.  The agency thinks we should have PA in a week to 10 days and then we can share her beautiful pictures.  We have quickly realized that there is a whole lot of paperwork to do and we will be doing a lot of waiting.  Since I will be doing a lot of the paper chasing and gathering I am feeling completely overwhelmed and underprepared.  In the meantime, we will think of a name.  I already have a favorite, but I guess I should let Devin have a say as well.

To end on a wonderful note, the agency said they had six new families submit letters of intent this weekend, including us.  They said that is more than they usually process in an entire month.  It is a wonderful feeling knowing that these children who have been waiting too long for families will be going home soon.

The voice with the force of penetration

For those who know Devin and I, the past several years have had their ups and downs.  At times it has been very difficult to keep up a positive outlook on life.  But truly, we do have so much, a beautiful family, so many things to be thankful for.  For the past four years we have talked about adoption, sometimes seriously, sometimes in passing, but the timing never seemed right.  But in the meantime I looked at the faces of those beautiful children who needed families, needed someone to love them forever, and though I knew we weren’t there yet I would hope that they would find their family.  And really that is how it happens.  Sure there is a list of waiting children, who need homes, and seeing their pictures makes it all so real, and a person could choose a child.  But for us, she chose us.  I first saw her face on an agency listing and my heart melted.  The immediate draw was her lips…they are VERY pouty…just like Devin and Wyatt’s.  I had to hear more about her.  But it was a line in her file that had me hooked forever…her voice has the force of penetration.  Ahhh, we know all about kids who have voices with the force of penetration, but we live with one every day and we joke about it all the time.  Wyatt, who at one time didn’t say anything, truthfully will not be quiet now.  And I don’t believe he has any volume control…he is either on full blast or off.  I knew in my heart that she had chosen us to be her family.  So I showed her to Devin and he was hooked too.  We spent last week rushing through some paperwork, having physicals (sorry Devin) and worrying and waiting.  We are still waiting for the agency to tell us what I already know…that she is our daughter.