This really sucks....

My heart is hurting this morning.  Our little girl has been living in a loving foster home and school where she has been well taken care of, cherished and loved. ...until last week.  I just found out that she has been moved back to her orphanage in her province.  The only information I was given was that there is some unrest in her province and that the government will typically have all the children who are in foster homes returned to the orphanage.  I don't know why she was moved for real.  For all we know it could have been because we received our LOA and that is how her province does things.  I don't think we will ever really truly know.  I have been able to find some news articles about the unrest, but I don't expect that they tell the entire story and that only certain approved things are published.  We were spoiled because we were able to just shoot an email to her school and we would get an update, a new picture, a story about her personality.  Now, I don't have any way of getting in touch with her.  I hurt so much to think about what she must be thinking.  She was moved to the school a year ago and didn't speak Mandarin, now she is moved back to her province and she no longer speaks that dialect.  She didn't even know she was being adopted yet.  She has no idea what is happening to her.  Is she crying herself to sleep, is she getting enough to eat, is she getting to play, is she getting any love.  Thinking about it could make me crazy.   The only thing holding me together is that we are moving along in our process.  The remainder of what we have to do is fairly predictable and we would be traveling anywhere around mid June.  I hope it is sooner, that we are blessed with the shorter waits at each step, but hopes get crushed all too often.  I just want her home, where she is safe and loved and cherished once more.